30 Second Summary

Graduation really is a big deal.  Our children are crossing the threshold of our influential radar and walking into the world, making decisions and choices that could affect them the rest of their lives.  We need to remember to share our thoughts and our truths now, before they leave.

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During the last week of May and the first few weeks of June, students are graduating all across our country.  It is a monumental milestone because as our children leave high school or college, they are leaving the arena of our influences.

I remember as my first daughter said goodbye to me and walked across campus with her best girl friend.  The moment I had dreaded as well as excitedly anticipated had arrived.  Dreaded because I wouldn’t get to see her every day.  I wouldn’t get to talk with her or eat dinner with her or have a late night conversation with her.  I didn’t know how I was going to handle this loss. 

But excited with anticipation because my precious daughter had the wonderful opportunity of going to a terrific college where she would meet new people, hear new ideas and develop into the godly woman she became.

So, please take the time now to share your values, your thoughts concerning their future, your desires, and your plans.  They need to know where their parents stand so that they can then put together the package of who they are and who they may become.

And most of all pray with them now.  They need your prayers every day.

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Action Plan

1. Fully engage with your high school graduate.  Yes, they are pretty cocky at this point!  And they think they know everything.  But statistics show that they still value their parent’s ideas and thoughts above their peers.  Give them all the time you can while you have them with you.

2. Be excited for them!  Help them shop for wherever they are going:  college items or apartment furniture.  This doesn’t mean you are buying, just that you will help with the shopping, looking and moving as they leave home or college.

3. Set up a prayer journal just for them and show it to them.  If they know you are writing down their needs and praying, they will probably want to then ask you for prayer more often.

4. Make time for yourself, in prayer and reflection.  You may have feelings of remorse over things you did or didn’t do while you were raising this child.  But don’t.  Give these to the Lord, ask Him for forgiveness and then clear your slate and start new. Each day is a new beginning.

5. Find out how your student will want to communicate with you.  Don’t be pushy about how many times you talk.  They need their independence!  If they can’t talk when you call, accept that.  My children really like me to text or email so that is what I did and still do.  Just remember to ask them.  They are adults now and need you to treat them with respect and to value their time.

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Manna from Heaven

One thing I believe we should remind our graduating children is that God has created them for a purpose.  He has a plan for them as well as to do good works.  When they have a choice to make, remind them to base it on what Christ would want them to do.

For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.”  Ephesians 2:10

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Emotional Check-Up

When we go through a change or loss, our first instinct is to grab hold of what we can and hold tight.

But we can’t do that with people.  I know that some of you mom’s will have a hard time letting go.  It’s only natural to have that emotion.  But now is the time to fully trust the Lord with your children.  Give them to God.  Pray for them each day. And allow them to grow into the person God created them to be.

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Healthy Fit-Fact

As we release our children to the world, we need to make sure that we stay healthy.  The powerful link between emotional outlook and physical health is no secret.  Martin Seligman, PhD, one of the preeminent experts in the field of positive psychology and author of the new book Flourish says that “…the data of this link has grown year after year, and it’s become a scientific certainty.”

Good feelings, scientists now know, have healing effects on the body, and researchers studying everything from the flu to HIV continue to find eye-opening evidence that a person’s mindset can influence her immunity and the rate at which she heals from injuries and illness.

Scientists don’t yet fully understand the biological mechanisms at work, but they know that negative feelings like stress, sadness, and worry cause a spike in the hormone cortisol, which in turn suppresses the immune system. 

So moms, share with yourself and your child some of these tips from the latest research on how to stay positive and healthy.  Both of you will be going through some major changes:

1. Express yourself.  Either write them in a journal or share your feelings with a trusted person.

2. Exercise and perhaps, try meditative exercise as yoga or tai chi and pray.

3. Seek help if you need it.  The freshmen year of college is a big change for students.  Let your child know that they can come to you if they aren’t adjusting well.  Or for them to go to a counselor at the school.  And for you, if you are feeling down or depressed, find someone to help you through this season.

4. Lean on your friends.  God created us to have relationships.  And they are especially important when we are going through any major change in our life.

5. Be positive!  It really does work to look on the bright side of a situation.  For me, I seek the scriptures and find verses I can claim.  I also love to read the Psalms.  David went through some deep valleys in his life, yet he continued to cling and hope in his Lord!

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Financial Fitness

Very simply, a child going to college or moving out with their first job is going to have huge temptations with money.  There is more to buy now than when any of us started out in the world.

So, sit down with your child and go over the basic aspects of money, even if you have before.

1. Explain how much you are contributing and how much they are responsible for.

2. Explain how their checking account and credit / debit cards work and how easy it is to get over-their-head in debt.

Explain that the number one rule with money is:  don’t spend more than you have and you can’t have everything.